Dear Prudence is Slate’s advice column. Submit questions here.

Dear Prudence,

My worthless ex-husband walked out on me and our then-2-year-old daughter for a woman he had an affair with at work. They then fled the state, and after years of attempting to pursue him for child support, I gave up because it was becoming too expensive.

Last week, I learned through a friend that he had passed away back in January. Our daughter is now 23 and has no memory of him. Am I under any obligation to inform her that the POS has kicked off?

—No Big Loss

Dear No Big Loss,

Yes, you need to tell her. And guess what? You’ll be fine! Sharing this information takes 30 seconds and costs you nothing. It protects you from the fallout that could occur if she were ever to find out that you kept a big secret from her. He will still be dead. This isn’t hard.

What may be difficult is sharing the news without any side comments about how it’s “No big loss” or emphasizing that he was “worthless.” Please try your best. He may be your terrible ex, but he was your daughter’s dad, and he was only your daughter’s dad because you chose him. So do her the favor of sharing the news promptly, factually, and without any editorializing that could make it more painful than it has to be.

Classic Prudie

I have a question about handling something that is both great and annoying. My husband is a big believer in “only touch it once” (known to some as OTIO). His baseline philosophy is that he tries to solve problems or deal with papers immediately…