Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Submit it here.

Dear Care and Feeding,

My wife, “Lisa,” and I spent Easter at her parents’ place with our two kids, “Jeremy,” 5, and “Bella,” 3. Lisa’s sister, “Jamie,” was also there along with her two kids (ages 6 and 8). When it came time for the Easter egg hunt in the backyard, Jeremy and Bella’s older cousins were able to find the eggs faster and ended up with several more than our kids found. My wife was annoyed, but what she decided to do to even things up has me wanting to slam my head against the wall.

When we arrived home, I noticed that there were more eggs in the kids’ baskets than I recalled them collecting. Upon questioning my wife, I learned that she had swiped some eggs from Jamie’s kids’ baskets! Her justification was that it wasn’t fair to our kids because they were younger and couldn’t find them as quickly, so she decided to “even things out.” I think this is a horrible lesson for Jeremy and Bella, but my real question is, do I tell my sister-in-law about my wife’s sticky fingers?

—Humiliated Husband

Dear Humiliated Husband,

As I have said many times in this column, we do not narc on other parents, children, and even our own spouse. I’ll admit I’m tempted to make an exception in your case because what your wife did is borderline despicable, but no: Absolutely do not tell your sister-in-law. Did your kids even notice they had more eggs? If they did, tell them that their cousins wanted to share.

Instead of creating a ridiculous-sounding family drama that may have some long-term consequences, here is what I’d suggest you do instead: Buy your sister-in-law’s kids some overly generous birthday gifts or invite them out to a fun family activity for the day that you’ll pay for. That’s the best way to “even things out” karmically. And in the meantime, please remind your wife that she can show her love for Jeremy and Bella in ways that still manage to consider other kids and how important it is to you to model empathy and compassion. Remember the news footage from Black Friday of other parents body-checking one another to get the last Cabbage Patch Kid? That could be your wife if you don’t intervene soon.

—A.J.

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